Original message posted by Subrat K. Rout on 11-04-10.
I have been into Socio-Economic Development Sector in a state like Orissa in India for last more than 21 years. I have worked with many National and International Agencies in the Capacity of Manager and Senior Consultant Manager. I am a Baptist Christian and very much sincere to my profession. However, just two years before there was this 'Kandhamal' issue of Communal Violence; where more than ten thousand Christian Families had been either killed, brutally tortured, Churches were burnt, A Non was gang-raped and many tribal believers in Jesus Christ were forced to get to reconverted in to Hinduism by Hindu Fundamentalists and Fanatics. Those who refused to accept their proposal for reconversion had been mercilessly killed by Hindu Community.The media (both print and electronic were forced by the State Government not to give publicity to the incidents). For last two years many tribal and non-tribal but rural Christian Families have taken shelters in school houses or other community halls located nearby places. Children have given up their educations. They are still afraid of for going back to their respective villages in fear of Hindu fundamentalists. While working as a Development Professional till-date, though those miserable incidents had touched my heart a lot but due to access pressures from the Power Structures threatening to cease the funds and resources; management of my present organization had debarred all staff to go to Kandhamal District and intervene. Being an employee of the current Organization, where I have been working for last three years, I had to abide by the instructions of the Management. But, I don't know, for last five to six months repeatedly I am having a series of messages coming from many unknown people (Pastors, Prayer worriers, missionaries and many common people that "God has chosen me from my Mother's womb to work for His Ministry."---They say that they have got this message while praying. Initially, I tried to ignore all these messages because of the insecurities of losing my job and livelihood. Since I don't have any savings nor any assets(not even a personal small house to live in, and I am living all along with my wife and only son in rented houses through out my professional career and wherever I have worked)I did not give any hid to the messages sent to me by those unknown people. BUT, this BUT is an important BUT, for last one month or so, from within me I am listening a whispering voice telling me repeatedly and mostly during early morning and in the late nights, most often, to quit my present job and work for Ministry of God. Honestly, I am still in illusion that if these are my psychological reflections. I honestly admit that God has gifted me so many gifts such as easily mobilizing communities and those mobilized communities trust me and my words blindly, mesmerizing and magnetic power of communications (both in oral and written), singing songs,writing in religious magazines, seldom visualizing the future and those have come true and many other gifts that if I narrate here no one is going to believe. For example, one of my old colleagues of 1994 to 1997 (Quite junior to me in age)had a heart-stroke and was admitted in the So-called best but most expensive Hospital of Bhubaneswar. He was not having sense and oxygen was administered to him with other machines and syringes all over his body. He was in ICU. I was allowed to see him for a few minutes. I went near his bed and had a small prayer and called him by his name saying repeatedly in whispering voice, 'Babuli(His nick name)come back to sense in the name of Jesus Christ'. I repeated this particular sentence for seven to ten times, and Babuli, who was out of sense for around three days opened his eyes and immediately recognized me. He started to speak to me something. Just then a doctor came inside and seeing the patient having his sense back requested me to leave the room.And I left the room. After a month or so, he got completely cured and discharged from the hospital. Once accidentally I met him and asked him about the incident of that particular day. He told me: though he was senseless and completely in unconscious state, some astonishing sounds he heard, which was not my voice, and he got back his sense. His financial position was and is extremely poor. Believe it or not, many generous people came out to meet the treatment costs of the hospital. Praise the Lord. While writing this mail to you also there is an unusual sensation within me and as if some voice is trying to tell me something either from within me or from vacuum. I am writing this mail from my office since I don't have e-mail facilities in my place. Could you be kind enough to keep in your prayer is it the real calling from the Lord to work for His ministry? If your reply would be yes, where from will I meet my livelihood? How can I sustain my family. It is not a fact that I have not searched for sites for sponsorships or fellowships to work as a free-lancer Missionary for the Lord to spread His Kingdom in a Hindu-dominated country like India. But I have not yet received a single agency or organization either for sponsorship or for fellowship. I know God will take care of my family. I believe in that. But to quit my job and to become a full-time missionary I need to have at least some money to sustain myself and my family. At present, myself and my family are living hand-to-mouth on a day to day basis because of many loans that I have taken to meet my paternal family needs (my father is a retired person with a meager amount of monthly pension and five persons are dependent on his pension). I don't have any back up financial supports. On the first week of every month I will have to pay the house rent, school fee of my son, Auto-fare, Money for the New Paper, electric bill, water bill, Milk man, household ration etc.besides, there are all other expenses living in the capital city of a state like Bhubaneswar, Orissa. I have asked this question to every one. And the only reply I have received so far that God will Provide. I do earnestly Trust it. God will Provide but how? Through which means? Please and I repeat please pray for my this confusions and doubts and be kind enough to reply me back in the mail as soon as you get a reply from the Almighty Lord. I am 46+ years old and having a family responsibility. I don't know what to do and what not to do. Again I do beg in the Holy Name of our Creator the Almighty Lord, kindly pray for me and let me know the reply of the Lord. In the living and loving name of our savior Jesus Christ, I do desperately waiting for your response. With humble regards, Subrat K. Rout.
Reply by Matt on 04-09-11.
Dear Subrat, I'm so excited to hear how the Lord has been working in your heart! He worked in my heart the SAME WAY, and after finally yielding to His call I moved my wife and 4 little girls to Colombia, South America. It is such a struggling time, being where you are right now. I was extremely lonely because nobody really understood me and it is also hard for men to express feelings anyway. I announced that I was going to become a missionary and started on the process of taking classes and raising funds from 3 local churches. I also told the school where I was working that I would be finishing the year but not returning (I was a teacher for 11 years). I believe, by what you've written, that the Lord is truly calling you. In my life, the Lord always waited for me to take the next step of faith BEFORE He would show me how He was going to take care of my needs. Ask Him; "What is the first step You want me to do, O' Lord?" Then, TAKE IT!! I don't know how He'll provide either, but He has a LOT of money! :-) Perhaps, you could contact your home church in the US, or the Southern Baptist Convention (www.SBC.net), I believe they fund their missionaries and they don't have to raise their support. However, this may not be the Lord's desire for you, so make sure your in prayer about the first step...I believe it's critical. God Bless you my Brother, and may He go with you and give you comfort, answers, and FINANCIAL SUPPORT!!